Change back?
by Nicole Gruebel
Summary: I loved the regeneration from 9th to 10th Doctor so much that I think it should be told in more detail. 9Rose & 10Rose
1. Headache

**Change back?**

_Summary: _I loved the regeneration from 9th to 10th Doctor so much that I think it should be told in more detail. 9Rose & 10Rose

_Disclaimer: _All official Doctor Who stuff belongs to BBC etc. - I only borrow it for this story.

_Notice:_ This version of chapter 1 was revised and improved with the help of my beta-reader StarSurfer and some kind suggestions by dartigen.

This chapter has been partially rewritten and re-published with some additions but without being beta-read again on 20th June 2008.

* * *

This story begins at the end of the episode "The Parting of the Ways".

* * *

Chapter 1 – Headache

Rose woke up with a terrible headache and no idea what had happened.

As her disorientation lessened, she became aware of her surroundings. _'I'm lying on the floor of the Tardis'_, she realized while staring at the dome-shaped ceiling of the control-room. The familiar shapes of its hexagon-panels and the curved beams gradually came into focus.

However, since the young woman has started travelling with the Doctor this was a familiar situation. No matter how amazing his ship was, most of their stops and landings were rough and bumpy, so that both of them often ended up on the hard grates that covered the floor around the console.

So, they might just have arrived at the beginning of a new adventure – but not only the pain behind her eyes told Rose that something was different and not quite as it should be.

As she moved, an awful dizziness overwhelmed her and nearly made her sick. The usually dim light of the control-room suddenly seemed awfully bright for a second, and all the well known shapes shifted and became something swirling and blurred.

It was impossible to tell if those sensations were the cause for or the reaction to it, but suddenly a clear memory blazed through her mind: she had desperately tried to look into the heart of the Tardis, to make it understand that the Doctor needed help.

Familiar beeping and rattling sounds made Rose look up. There he was, her Doctor, working as always with the controls of the Tardis. Immense relieve washed through her and eased the pain and discomfort she was feeling. He was safe, the Tardis was safe, and both of them were inside the ship.

Still, she felt as if she had just awakened from a nightmare. Rose had to fight the urge to get up immediately and reassure herself that everything was alright. She wasn't sure if the ship was actually rocking quite a bit, or if she herself was shaky. In any case it would be futile for her to try and stand up right now.

Nevertheless, one question remained: "What happened?"

The Time Lord regarded her only for a moment, appearing very busy with whatever he was doing. "Don't you remember?" was all he answered. His tone seemed light, as if nothing of importance had happened. But Rose knew him better and could read his slightly strained posture and blank look.

She tried to gather herself and slowly sat up. Another memory returned, while the headache gradually receded to some sort of dull pressure. „It's like – there was this singing ..." At this the Doctor looked at her again, but this time he sounded cheerful and joked: „That's right. I sang a song and the Daleks ran away." He still found the console more important than helping Rose to get up from the floor or to regain her memory.

Frowning, Rose tried to reconstruct on her own what had happened. „I was at home ... no, I wasn't ... I was in the Tardis, and ..." The Doctor stared at the gallifreyan signs on the monitor, not really reading them. He just didn't want to face his blonde companion. He hoped she wouldn't remember what she had done. He didn't want her to know what he has had to do afterwards.

„There was this light ..." Unknown to Rose, her words matched an alarming discovery by the Time Lord. The veins in his left hand suddenly shimmered golden. Soundlessly he gasped as it dawned on him what was happening. He lifted the hand from the console to turn it around and have a better look, even wriggled a bit with the fingers – or were they actually shaking? Unfortunately it was without a doubt not a mere trick of the multi-colored light inside the Tardis. The girl might only remember that she saw a strange light – in fact, it had been the Time Vortex, which he had had to channel through his body to free her from it. And now, he would pay the price for her life.

When the Doctor noticed that Rose had stopped babbling, he looked at her again. It was no use, he had to face her. For a few moments, the man just took in her features. He already knew them by heart - how she used to pout in frustration or look at him, full of trust. But he was aware now that these eyes of his wouldn't be able to see her for much longer. What frightened him even more was that, in a short while, his mind might not think of her like it used to. At last these thoughts distracted him from the growing pain that began as a dull tug in his head.

To be continued ...


	2. Not like this

**Change back?**

_Summary: _I loved the regeneration from 9th to 10th Doctor so much that I think it should be told in more detail. 9Rose & 10Rose

_Disclaimer: _All official Doctor Who stuff belongs to BBC etc. - I only borrow it for this story.

_Notice:_ Thank you all for your kind reviews of the first chapter! It's nice to know that some people are reading and even liking this.

Very helpful beta-reader for this chapter was again StarSurfer. And dartigan was once more the guardian of my quotation-marks ;)

This chapter has been partially rewritten and re-published with some additions but without being beta-read again on 21st June 2008.

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_What frightened him even more was that, in a short while, his mind might not think of her like it used to. At last these thoughts distracted him from the growing pain that began as a dull tug in his head. _

* * *

Chapter 2 – Not like this

„Rose Tyler ..." She liked it when the Doctor called her in that way, sounding kind of proud and with this certain, fond smile. Somehow it made her feel special - and she wanted to be more than the average 'little ape', which was his favorite nickname for a human. It didn't matter to Rose that she didn't really know what he saw in her, as long as she was allowed to travel with him.

Smiling, the Time Lord told his young companion how he had wished to take her to many more places, like the planet Barcelona, and that he believed she would have loved it. He was babbling now – a trait they had in common. But they also knew when to keep silent and listen to each other. So, Rose still just sat there and took in his words. However, she didn't really pay much attention to them, because she was wondering why his smile didn't quite reach his eyes. She did not like this at all – it usually meant trouble.

One of his favorite jokes – the one about the dogs without noses – momentarily distracted her. It always made her laugh, and he knew it. But the Doctor had not considered that Rose wouldn't be tricked so easily anymore. Thus, when he offered no explanation for his strange mood, she inquired: „Then, why can't we go?", and he realized that he had to tell her the truth. After all, she would soon see it for herself, and it wouldn't be fair to leave her unprepared for what was about to happen.

The problem was, he didn't know how to start without frightening her. So the Doctor chose one of his favorite tactics and spoke in this confusing way which told the truth but concealed it at the same time. „Maybe you will – maybe I will. But not like this."

Rose finally stood up, straightened her clothes and declared: „You're not making sense." It wasn't entirely true, though. She had a bad feeling now that had nothing to do with the strange memory-loss she obviously suffered from. Her friend was talking as if they were about to part!

_'No, he surely is just making more jokes'_, she tried to reassure herself and gave in to laughter at his speculations about him having two heads or even none at all in the future. The blonde woman decided to dismiss his weird speech as something she didn't really need to understand, just like most of his explanations about technology or alien races. It was easy to just enjoy and laugh about it.

However, when the Doctor suddenly became serious, Rose couldn't fool herself any longer.

„It's a bit dodgy, this process." She was aware that he the wanted to tell her something very important. „You never know what you might end up with."

Before she could find out what he was talking about, an electric shock seemed to hit him. Its force made him cry out and double over. Yellow flashes ran through his body. Without thinking, she started forward to help him, crying his name - but despite his obvious agony, he stopped her with a commanding voice.

All masks had dropped now. The Doctor clearly was in pain, clutching his body as if it would fall apart if he didn't hold on tight. Although he managed to steady himself by leaning on the console, he couldn't stand upright. His breathing was heavy and he had to pause while talking to gather strength. Rose obeyed and didn't come closer, but she demanded an explanation. Her fears and worries were showing openly in her eyes and voice. Suddenly it was easy for the Time Lord to tell her what had happened, most likely because he felt that his time really was running out now.

Rose tried to wrap her mind around his explanation, but it was hard to think when she was so worried about him. _'Absorbed the whole energy of the Time Vortex ...?!' _

She knew the Tardis travelled through that unfathomable place to reach any destination in time and space, but the concept of its power was beyond her. On the other hand, how could she understand something that even the Time Lords of Gallifrey had not unraveled completely. And after all, there was still a strong shield around the memory of her own experience with this energy.

Nevertheless, Rose still would have known that it wasn't good to absorb this power into one's body, even if the Doctor hadn't added that no one was meant to do that. When he looked at her, there was a rare dread clouding his face. And his next, strained words made her realize that this wasn't something he could easily handle with his superior alien biology: „Every cell in my body is dying."

She felt suddenly cold and numb. _'He can't be dying!?' _was the only thought she could manage. But then that strange burning determination deep inside her awoke again, just like when she had set out to rescue him with the Tardis. „Can't you do something?" Rose's voice was quite shaky, but it sounded more like a demand than a request anyway.

Self-confidently the Doctor assured her that he already was doing 'something'. A Time Lord trick to cheat death. He almost convinced her that everything was going to be alright. But then he started talking about 'changing' again, and she just couldn't understand what he meant.

„I'm not gonna see you again. Not like this. Not with this daft, old face." He couldn't completely keep the strain out of his voice.

The young woman was in shock and just stared at the man who had become so important to her in such a short time. Was he going to die after all? He said he could cheat death. What was happening? Would he leave her?

She had already lost him once when the Reapers had devoured him. The world was going to end back then anyway, but she still had felt awfully empty without him. Everything had happened so fast in that alternative past, without any chance to do anything about it or to say goodbye. Now she didn't want to hear what he had to say.

The Doctor gave up. It was no use to explain to her what was going to happen, she was too frightened to listen and his time was running out. There were so many things he wanted to tell her, his Rose. He wished she wouldn't have to witness this. But at least she was safe.

He still couldn't believe what she had risked to save him and that she actually had destroyed the Daleks and their emperor. In fact he didn't even fully comprehend what she had done or how, but there was no time left to find out.

So, the only thing to say, without distressing her even more, was simple: „You were fantastic. Absolutely fantastic."

The Doctor knew, he couldn't hide his feelings for her anymore now and was afraid that they were plainly written on his face. His only remaining mask was a last joke: „And you know what? So was I." His bright smile lit his face one last time and even passed on to Rose. To her, there was no doubt about the truth of his final words.

She didn't have the chance to answer anything. Suddenly, the Doctor was assaulted by the strange force again and got pulled into a rigid posture - arms and legs wide, head thrown back. Only this time there were no flashes covering his skin, instead he appeared to be burning with golden fire. Although there was no heat and only his skin seemed to be affected, the being in front of Rose looked more like a living flame than a man - only held together by the Doctors clothes. More frightened than ever, the girl clung to a pillar of the Tardis and could do nothing but watch.

To be continued ...


	3. Hello

**Change back?**

_Summary: _I loved the regeneration from 9th to 10th Doctor so much that I think it should be told in more detail. 9Rose & 10Rose

_Disclaimer: _All official Doctor Who stuff belongs to BBC etc. - I only borrow it for this story.

_Notice:_ I'm sorry for the rather long pause. Hopefully you still enjoy this story. Thank you for your reviews so far!

I was now able to put an improved version of this chapter online, thanks to StarSurfer who looked through it.

This chapter has been partially rewritten and re-published with some additions but without being beta-read again on 24th June 2008.

* * *

_Although there was no heat and only his skin seemed to be affected, the being in front of Rose looked more like a living flame than a man - only held together by the Doctors clothes. _

_More frightened than ever, the girl clung to a pillar of the Tardis and could do nothing but watch._

* * *

Chapter 3 – Hello

Rose really wanted to look away, but she just couldn't tear her eyes off the scene in front of her. She didn't know if the golden light had bewitched her or if she was simply too scared to miss any chance to help him.

The young woman had seen many wonders and horrors during her travels through time and space, with the Doctor always there to protect her. Now she something bad was happening to him, and she didn't know what to do.

The pillar which Rose held on to seemed to get slightly warmer and to hum softly. It was a soothing sensation and somehow she knew it was a message from the Tardis: she needn't be afraid of what was going on.

_'When did I learn to read signs from the ship?' _she wondered briefly, but accepted this newfound knowledge nevertheless. Once more, something stirred in the back of her mind – somewhere in the region where her lost memories of the recent events were sleeping.

However, reassurance from this rather unexpected source helped her to remember that the Doctor was an extraordinary being. Whatever was happening to him, it might not be as bad as she feared. And more important, she was determined to stay with him, as long as he wanted her at his side.

Suddenly Rose noticed a slight change in him. He wasn't merely engulfed by golden fire anymore. The strange flames actually appeared to peel away his skin, although – to her relief – they somehow didn't harm him. For a moment she got the feeling that the Doctor was shrinking and expanding at the same time. When his hair began to lengthen really fast for a few seconds, she feared he was captured in some sort of fast-forward time-trap. But then the spell broke and he relaxed and exhaled – which made her aware that she had been holding her breath since this 'change' had begun.

As abruptly as it had started, it all ended. The golden light disappeared into thin air – and a strange man, clad in the Doctors clothes stood in his place.

He was pale, with dark eyes and a wild tuft of hair that was short around the neck but rather long at the top. Rose immediately noticed that the old leather jacket and the black trousers didn't really fit him. He wasn't that much smaller, but considerable thinner or rather more slender than the original owner. Although she knew this was absurd, she couldn't help thinking: _'Why did this guy steal his clothes?!'_

The man himself looked a bit surprised and took deep breaths, as if he just had run and stumbled into this scene. He greeted her with a casual „hello", before contemplating his new teeth and making strange grimaces._ 'Alright, at last this guy seems to have the decency to feel weird, too'_, Rose thought irritated,_ 'But I bet, I can beat him. What on earth is going on here?' _

She had no chance to ask the intruder anything, because suddenly he seemed to have regained his composure and wondered: „Where was I ...", as if he just had a conversation with somebody. When he turned towards her, he held his chin high, stood upright and said one of the last things Rose would have expected: „Oh, that's right – Barcelona!"

This left her speechless, but she asked herself how this stranger could know what the Doctor had been talking about a few moments ago. The carefree smile this man beamed at her did nothing to calm her. Quite the contrary, because for a heartbeat the saw the Doctor's well-known face, complete with steel-blue eyes, short hair and big ears, overlapping with this new one. The different voices mixed together in her head, where the name of the planet echoed over and over with two very different accents.

OOO

One moment he was all worried about how Rose would take the change that was going to happen and gritted his teeth to fight the pain that tormented his body. But only a double heartbeat later he already welcomed the well-known surge of rejuvenating power that was brought upon him, physically as well as mentally. For the ninth time he would regenerate, starting his tenth life.

Well, he hadn't really consciously experienced all his previous regenerations, sometimes he had just been too injured and simply woke up with a new face and a more or less changed personality. And of course, a Time Lord usually still had a full grown body after the first one was worn out, so it wasn't actually a full new life. Nevertheless, the process itself felt very much like a birth and in most cases he was quite a different man thereafter. No matter how often he had called the long life of his race and this special ability a curse – the Doctor couldn't deny how wonderfully refreshing and bracing it was to feel this energy flow through every cell of his body and even his mind.

When he realized he could use his lungs again, the Time Lord knew that his regeneration was complete. If everything went right, it only was a matter of seconds.

At first he staggered a bit before finding his balance with this new, leaner body. Gradually he was adapting to the changed length of his limbs. Settling in a new form was rather easy for one of his race, after all it was just a shell.

The more tricky part was to cope with the memories of the past lives. In one moment you felt like the king of the whole universe, bursting with energy and feeling larger than life in that brand new body. But sooner or later everything that was in your mind, all the experiences and all the knowledge had to catch up. And suddenly, it appeared as if the full weight of the world was resting on your shoulders alone. This took some getting used to, especially since there obviously was more of all this the longer one lived.

Fortunately, a regeneration didn't leave a Time Lord completely brainless until the mental process, too, was completed. This was essential, because sometimes the memories would return slowly or incoherent at first.

Thus, the Doctor greeted the young, blonde woman that was nearby with a courteous „hello", although he didn't remember her name. She looked a bit startled, but it didn't concern him much at that moment. After all, he just had realized how strange it felt to speak with his new set of teeth, and the new voice.

However, his brain was catching up rather fast, and only few beats of his two hearts later, more memory-fragments returned to him. _'I just have talked about something to her ... where was I?' _he mused, partly in silence and aloud.

Some bits and pieces of the more recent events were still cloudy, especially the ones that had lead to this regeneration, but he felt the urge of putting his newfound energy into action. So he turned to Rose and cheerfully wanted to continue their conversation about the grand planet Barcelona. Yes! She was his companion, one of the best, and he was sure they would have much fun there.

The fact that she still stared at him as if he was an alien with two heads was not very surprising, after all she obviously had just seen him regenerate right in front of her, and he had to admit that really could be weird.

To be continued ...


	4. You saw me

**Change back?**

_Summary: _I loved the regeneration from 9th to 10th Doctor so much that I think it should be told in more detail. 9Rose & 10Rose

_Disclaimer: _All official Doctor Who stuff belongs to BBC etc. - I only borrow it for this story.

_Notice: _The story continues – after another unintended long pause. Your reviews are part of what keeps me writing, thank you!

From now on the story will be based on the regeneration-special, too. If you didn't have the chance to watch it, do it – it's great :)

It seems my beta-readers have deserted me again. So please just let me know when you find any mistakes etc..

This chapter has been partially rewritten and re-published with some additions but without being beta-read again on 12th July 2008.

* * *

_The fact that she still stared at him as if he was an alien with two heads was not very surprising, after all she obviously had just seen him regenerate right in front of her, and he had to admit that really could be weird. _

* * *

Chapter 4 – You saw me

Nothing seemed to have changed. The control-room of the Tardis was still bathed in dim orange-green light and the central-column emitted its regular swooshing sound. A man with dark hair in an old, black leather jacket was handling all kinds of switches and levers, mumbling about something that appeared to be coordinates in time and space. For a moment, Rose wondered why she was holding her breath, when this was just an ordinary day with the Doctor.

But then the spell broke, and the young woman realized that the exotic atmosphere and look of the space-ship was as dear and familiar to her as always, but the stranger in front of her just shouldn't be here. From one instant to another he had replaced her friend. Literally, because this man had even wore the same clothes.

OOO

The coordinates to planet Barcelona were set rather fast. The knowledge of controlling a TARDIS had been his for hundreds of years, so it was almost as natural to him as breathing.

The journey would take a little while though, because his chosen destination was not only halfway on the other side of this universe, but also in another time. But this provided a good opportunity to study his new body.

Full of expectation he turned to his companion and asked for her opinion about his looks. Considering her dumbfounded stare, however, the Doctor didn't wait for an answer and made a quick check by himself.

OOO

_'What's going on here? Who is that guy?'_ Rose wondered. _'Is he another Time Lord who somehow switched places with the Doctor? But he had said he was the last one.' _

She couldn't help but jump a little when the man suddenly turned away from the console and faced her. No, in fact he literally presented himself to her, as if he had dressed up for a special occasion. "Now then, what do I look like?" The woman was too stunned to answer.

He didn't notice her hesitation or her discomfort at all. "No, no no no no, don't tell me. Let's see ..." Like one who doesn't want to be told about something exciting, but rather see it for himself, he began to count limbs and explore his body, as though it was all brand new to him. „Two legs ... two arms ... two hands ... slight weakness in the dorsal tubercle ..." Suddenly the stranger grabbed a handful of the ruffled mass on his head. „Hair! I'm not bald! - Oh, oh! Big hair! - Sideburns, I've got sideburns!" The sheer delight on his face made Rose smile, albeit she still found this whole situation quite scary.

OOO

The Doctor was quite pleased with this new body. The leaner frame felt lighter than his previous form, but he was sure that he still was athletic enough to run for his life if necessary. He was particularly fascinated by a mole between his shoulder blades, he hadn't had one in such a spot for ages. A human probably wouldn't even notice such a trivial thing, but the Time Lord could actually feel a nice little tickling there.

Finally, he asked Rose again what she thought about him, expecting her to share his enthusiasm.

She was glad that he stopped his ramblings for a few moments. This gave her the chance to really look at him and helped her to decide that he probably wasn't dangerous after all. With a thin voice Rose asked: „Who are you?", deliberately ignoring his own question.

"I'm the Doctor!" His tone was still joyous, but his face immediately lost that stupid grin.

Nothing in the universe would make her happier if this was true, but the young woman couldn't believe it. This pale man was nothing like him, especially not with his unruly hair and those soft brown eyes. Afraid and angry at the same time, she demanded: „No ... where is he? What have you done to him!?"

All cheerfulness left the Time Lord when he realized that Rose didn't recognize him. And what was even more alarming, she didn't believe him.

„You saw me, I - I changed ... right in front of you." He pointed over his shoulder to emphasize his statement.

_'How could I have been so blind?' _Not until now he noticed that his companion didn't stare at him in astonishment over the regeneration, but out of fear of something she couldn't understand. And to make matters worse, this disillusion made him prone to regain the rest of his memories, which until now had not caught up with the change of his brain.

OOO

_Hundreds of years he had travelled through time and space. He had become an outcast, because he couldn't accept that his people, the Time Lords, wouldn't use their power and knowledge to fight against the evil of the universe. _

_Lots of different companions had been at his side. Most of them had been adventurers or had been just as restless as he always had been. But sooner or later they all had left him, when they finally had found a place to settle down or he had decided it would be better to move on without them._

_He never had stopped, and only occasionally had returned home to Gallifrey. After all, it was one of the most beautiful planets he had ever known. _

_Then had come the last great Time War and at its end everything had changed._

_Suddenly, he had been alone in the universe. _

_The sacrifice he had made to protect countless planets and lives had nearly been too much to bear. But he had continued to travel and fight, because it had kept him busy enough not to think too much about his loss. _

_It had not been until he had met a young, blonde human female of Earth's 21st century that he had wanted to have a companion again. Rose Tyler had reawakened something in him. _

_At first he hadn't minded too much that she had refused his invitation. As always he even had been somewhat relieved, because the adventures he offered usually could get quite dangerous and he felt responsible for whomever he took with him as companion. But then he had looked around in the Tardis' control-room, and it had felt as if something was missing._

_For the first time in his all his nine lives he had asked someone twice to accompany him. _

_They had not been travelling together for long, when she had told him for the first time that he wasn't alone anymore. He had no choice but to admit that he felt as if an essential jigsaw piece had slid into the right place._

_For a while they had been as carefree and happy as adventurers like them could be, although he had always known that this would come to an end eventually. However, he had to trick her when she wouldn't even leave his side although they faced a whole army of the deathliest creatures in the universe. _

_It had been rather easy to give up while he believed her to be save. How could he have known what sacrifices she would be willing to make, just to save his life?_

_He had not needed to think twice to save her life in return, after all one of his regenerations wasn't such a high price for what was at stake. _

_But now he realized that he might have lost her nevertheless. _

OOO

„I saw him sort of explode, and then you replaced him, like a ... a teleport or a transmat or a body swap or something." Rose was partly talking to herself and partly accusing the imposter. The Doctor however, got pulled back out of his own thoughts to the here and now by her words.

Suddenly, the young woman gathered her courage and stepped forward. The look in her eyes reminded him a bit of her mother Jackie, whenever she was about to slap him.

Rose was glad that he didn't move. He just kept standing there, staring at her, although he seemed to rather see right through her. In fact the man reminded her a lot of her Doctor in that moment. He sometimes had had this vacant but sort of serious look on his face, too. Like when he talked about his lost home Gallifrey, or when they were in mortal danger with apparently no way out.

Instead of being slapped in the face, the Time Lord just got nudged with the girls flat hand on the chest. Not hard, she didn't push him away - that was at least something. It seemed more as if she was convincing herself that he was real. Still speechless and clueless how to regain her trust, he just gave in to the soft shove and rocked a little back and forth on his heels.

_'Don't you know it's still me?'_ His silent plea was a bit frustrated, because beings that were at last a bit psychic like his own people would recognize him, no matter how his current face looked like. But it was never that easy with his human companions.

„I've seen all sorts of things." Rose retreated from the stranger. Her touch had proved that he wasn't a hologram, and thus she tried to search for another explanation. „Nano genes ... Gelth ... Slitheen ..." She felt somewhat proud about what seemed to her like a vast knowledge of alien life-forms that could be responsible for this weird situation. The Doctor had shown her so much of the universe! But many of the wonders she had seen were treacherous. A terrible suspicion began to manifest in her mind, and it seemed to be encouraged by the stern look the man gave her. „Oh my god, you're a Slitheen!"

When his companion began to list all the aliens that actually could act as an imposter or be the cause of something similar, the Doctor realized in how many dangerous adventures they already had been involved together. _'No wonder she did become this sceptical. There once had been a time when Rose would even walk up to a Dalek, full of compassion for a trapped, lonely creature, without any prejudice.' _His face darkened. Not as a reaction to her accusations, but due to a bitter realisation. _'Because of me she learned that some beings just can't be trusted. In the end she even put her own life at risk to fight my enemies when I was about to give up.' _

No matter how deep the Doctor would be in his own thoughts, this young woman had the talent to always reach him. Right now she actually believed him to be a green, bulky Raxacoricofallapatorian, who liked to pose as humans by wearing the skins of their victims. Under other circumstances he would have answered with a mock insulted remark and they would have laughed, but not now.

The Time Lord knew those fiends had given her some nightmares every time they had encountered them. So he just raised his eyebrows in an attempt to pull the tension out of this situation and told her in a calm voice, that he was _not_ a Slitheen.

To be continued ...


	5. Remember

**Change back?**

_Summary: _I loved the regeneration from 9th to 10th Doctor so much that I think it should be told in more detail. 9Rose & 10Rose

_Disclaimer: _All official Doctor Who stuff belongs to BBC etc. - I only borrow it for this story.

_Notice: _A lot of things, including something like a writer's block, delayed this next chapter, although it had been nearly finished for quite some time now.

Finally, I have a new beta-reader: my dear friend Sylvia. It´s thanks to her that this chapter got some very nice touches.

This chapter has been partially rewritten and re-published with some additions but without being beta-read again on 15th July 2008.

* * *

_The Time Lord knew those fiends had given her some nightmares every time they had encountered them. _

_So he just raised his eyebrows in an attempt to pull the tension out of this situation and told her in a calm voice, that he was not a Slitheen._

* * *

Chapter 5 – Remember

„Send him back! I'm warning you! Send the Doctor back, right now!" Rose was shouting and pointed repeatedly on the spot where she wanted her dear friend back. Somehow she hoped her voice would reach the Doctor so that he could come and help her. He surely would be able to explain what had happened with a flood of words she didn't even know. Until then she would find a way to deal with this guy.

Her fury surprised him a bit. _'Oi, why is she so angry? I fear for anybody who really might be kidnapping me one day in front of her eyes.'_

„Rose, it's me! It's ... honestly, it's me." He kept telling her that over and over. She didn't like that this intruder did know her name and that he talked to her as if she was a frightened child. _'Why does he have to pretend he is the Doctor? Does he think I'm daft? He sounds and looks totally different from him!' _

Rose's thoughts were racing. She wished he would stop talking. His pleading brown eyes somehow had this fatal, heart melting effect of puppy's eyes on her. She began to doubt herself, only because she wished she could believe him.

„I was dying." The Doctor felt he finally had the girls attention. Once more he tried to explain the situation to her, without any jokes or further hesitation. He needed her to believe him, and he didn't even care to hide this. Not many of his companions had witnessed a regeneration, and hardly any had ever taken it well. It was hard to feel this rejection over and over again, especially when there once had been blind trust.

With calm words he continued, still keeping the distance between himself and Rose, which she obviously needed right now. Everything would be easier if he just could hold her hand like he often used to right from the start.

„To save my own life I changed my body. Every single cell, but ... still me." He shook his head and spread his hands in a gesture that left him at her mercy.

Rose couldn't help but warm up towards this guy. He just looked so vulnerable, with his messed up hair and the slightly unfitting clothes. That was so unlike her Time Lord that it felt even more strange when he talked about this change-stuff like the Doctor had right before he had disappeared.

„You can't be ..." She couldn't manage more than a faint whisper. This man certainly behaved as if he was him. Desperately the young woman searched his face - to find a trace of her friend, to find a proof that she could trust him.

Rose didn't back away when he approached her slowly. She wanted to believe him, because she began to realize that this could be the only way to get her Doctor back.

„Then how can I remember this ..." He had moved closer as soon as he sensed that she had calmed enough and stood right in front of her now. Their eye-contact still remained unbroken, as if it was a lifeline - the only thing to hold them together.

Rose had to admit that this man looked at her just like the Doctor had. Warily and yet trusting. Offering so much, expecting so little, but secretly wishing for so much more. And close up like this she couldn't deny that these brown eyes seemed as ancient as the blue ones she had known so well.

„The very first word I ever said to you ..." The Doctor paused again. He wanted to give his companion time to take in what he was saying. „Trapped in a cellar ... surrounded by shop-window dummies." He couldn't help but slip back into a more carefree manner. As if he actually could see the past, his look became distant for a moment and he sighed „Oh, such a long time ago."

In fact he couldn't bear it anymore how she gazed at him like she didn't know him, although she apparently tried very hard to recognize him somehow. Would their time together end so soon?_ 'I don't want to loose her now. Not like this. She has to believe me.'_

Rose felt like falling when he broke the eye-contact. It gave her the chance to study his face though.

They were so close now that she could see the little freckles all over his nose and cheeks. This man looked younger than the Doctor. The thin lips matched the rather fine features of his face quite well. And his warm, brown eyes were wide open. They completely captured her once more in the instant he looked at her again. But now he suddenly seemed different – and a lot more familiar.

If possible, the man's voice appeared to be even more soothing now. „I took your hand ...". His actions mirrored his words. Now it was Rose's turn to break the eye-contact. She looked down at her own fingers that had welcomed his without hesitation. She had been trembling slightly, but this tender but firm grip calmed her. This hand felt different, more slender – albeit like a natural match to her. Could it really be him?

The Doctor grew more confident. Now there finally was a more solid connection between him and Rose. She was aware of this, too. Her eyes met his gaze again, while their joined hands provided comfort and kept her from running away at the same time. His voice completed the bond. „I said one word ... just one word." The Doctor had started to whisper now, while his look became more and more intense. „I said ... run."

_'It's now or never.'_ Expectantly he stared at her, holding his breath.

She didn't know what convinced her. Was it the exact retelling of this very special moment, when she first had met him? Only he could know those details. Or was it the little smile that accompanied his words and the slight twinkle in his eyes, which was so much like him? Rose felt tears welling up as she accepted the impossible. However, it was necessary for her to voice it to make it real, although she still couldn't manage more than a whisper. „Doctor ..."

Both his hearts nearly burst with joy when she finally called him by his name. The smile broadened into a grin and his eyes lit up like those of a child facing a huge pile of Christmas-presents. Happily he repeated his 'hello' from right after his regeneration, giving his companion's hand an affectionate squeeze.

All the recent events suddenly overwhelmed the young woman. She had to stagger back and lean on a pillar of the Tardis for support. The Doctor might have supported her, but he had let go of her hand in the same instant as another uncontrollable burst of energy surged through him. Babbling about one of their wild adventures somewhere in the universe, he ran halfway around the console.

Rose didn't even hear him, while he was oblivious of her shock.

OOO

_Their latest adventure had ended in a disaster. A really bad one, in which the Daleks, who were supposed to be extinct like the Time Lords, had been threatening the future Earth. Jack had been with them, but while she had been helping the Doctor building some fantastic device to stop the aliens, he had started to organize the humans on Satellite Five into a resistance-force. _

_Then she suddenly had been back at home, on Earth, in her time, with Mickey and her mum. The Doctor had tricked her and sent her away to save her, because he had realized that his plan would be fatal. Worst of all, he had expected her to live her life just like that and be happy!_

_The strange words „Bad Wolf" had pulled Rose out of her initial desperation. Suddenly it had seemed clear that this mysterious phrase was a message for her, not for the Doctor. Because for the first time it had appeared without him by her side – and it had been all but screaming into her face to do something. _

_She had been able to think of only one way to get back to the Doctor, although it seemed impossible: persuade the Tardis had to bring her back. She knew the time- and space-ship was somewhat alive and telepathic and had a special link to its owner. _

_Brute force had been necessary to reach the heart of the Tardis, but suddenly they had been connected. _

_Golden light from the core of the ship had filled her whole self. Only now she realized that it resembled the strange flames which had just changed the Doctor quite a lot. _

_Rose had felt how she and the Tardis had each absorbed a part of the other. They had been one mind, united through the one, single wish to go back, find the Doctor and safe him! None of them would have been able to do something on their own, but together they had made the return to the Time Vortex and had retraced their steps back to the time and place where they so longed to be. _

„_Bad Wolf" had been ringing through Rose's mind, like a harmony to the beautiful song of the Tardis._

_And then she suddenly had stood in front of the Doctor. Oddly enough, he had been crouching on the floor and had looked very frightened - and somehow she had had the feeling this wasn't because of the Daleks who surrounded them. She couldn't quite understand why he had seemed to be angry with her, too. _

_In the next instant all the Daleks had disappeared. Tears of exhaustion had been running down her cheeks and she had felt weird, as if she was burning from within. Her Doctor had still been on the floor, but somehow they had appeared to be in the middle of a conversation she couldn't remember having started. _

_Rose began to believe now that something had held her human self back, to protect it from the unearthly forces that had been at work then._

_When the Time Lord finally had stood up, he had appeared to be quite thrilled by what the entity within her had said to him. Although Rose had heard her own voice, she had been too scared and confused to understand the words. All she had been able to think about was the searing pain in her head. Obviously there was a price to pay._

_Her own self had returned to the surface, and the other one, which she believed now was truly „Bad Wolf", had retreated. It's purpose had been fulfilled. Now its vessel needed to be saved._

_Suddenly the full weight of the bond between the Tardis and her had been about to crush her. The Doctor, however, had taken her hands and his blue eyes had been soft and loving in the bright golden light that had surrounded them. _

_Even "Bad Wolf" had known that the Time Lord would know what to do. And if this meant he had to pull her gently towards him, so that he could bent his head down and kiss her, she would gladly follow his lead. _

_This kiss – Rose knew it wasn't just a kiss, because it had served some purpose which she just couldn't grasp, neither then nor now. And yet, it had felt like the very best kiss she had ever shared. This worried her, because she couldn't remember the end of it. _

_And now, everything was different, in more ways than one._

OOO

Finally Rose's attention was drawn to the present again. Considering the hyperactive and rather loud Doctor, it was a miracle that she had been able to ignore him long enough to sort out her thoughts anyway.

_'I believe now that it is him. But how can he be so different?' _Warily she regarded the Doctor and wondered if this just was some kind of show, because he, too, was afraid of what might have changed between them. Or was he really a completely different man now, and everything they had together until now didn't matter anymore?

Never mind how endearing this new Doctor might be, Rose wished for the old one to return, more than anything in the world.

To be continued ...


	6. Change back

**Change back?**

_Summary: _I loved the regeneration from 9th to 10th Doctor so much that I think it should be told in more detail. 9Rose & 10Rose

_Disclaimer: _All official Doctor Who stuff belongs to BBC etc. - I only borrow it for this story.

_Notice: _As you might have guessed by the chapter-title, this is more or less the central-piece of my little story. However, it surely isn't the end yet, although I don't know how long I will follow our favorite Time Lord and his companion here.

Any comments or critics etc. are welcome. And if someone feels like wanting to beta-read this story for me, I would be very happy!

* * *

_Never mind how endearing this new Doctor might be, Rose wished for the old one to return, more than anything in the world._

* * *

Chapter 6 – Change back

The Doctor was dimly aware that he was behaving a bit ridiculous, with all the hopping around the console on one leg and talking nonsense. However, he realized his new self liked being rather silly and childish. It felt good to finally have left some of the burden behind which had marked him since the Time War. And, he already had experienced the one or other even more embarrassing quirk in some of his previous lives. But of course, they had felt alright to him then, too.

Eventually, he couldn't help noticing that his companion was regarding him quite serious and weary, no matter how cheerful he wanted to be now. So the Doctor stopped making a fool of himself and let her speak.

"Can you change back?"

Rose's question was not totally unexpected, however he couldn't remember when somebody had actually asked him this the last time. Despite being a Time Lord, and one that had lived through most of his lives already, he suddenly regretted to have left his ninth self behind.

Most of his people would have been offended by such a blunt and ignorant question. After all, the power of regeneration was one of the traits that defined a Time Lord. Without it, his race's lifespan most likely would be much shorter, at last he would be much more vulnerable. In any case, his people wouldn't have had the ability to gather knowledge and experiences by living each incarnation with different bodies and minds.

But the Doctor knew better. Rose wasn't completely aware what a regeneration meant. She wouldn't have asked this, if she knew that his own possible lifespan just had been reduced by a good deal, since his last form had still been quite young.

Besides, he was sure that his looks had rather improved, at last he was quite pleased with this new body. And he hadn't even looked into a mirror yet. No, she was concerned about the less obvious changes this might mean for her - and them. And so was he.

So, instead of feeling insulted, he was rather flattered that she missed his old face and simply asked back: "Do you want me to?"

Of course she said yes, otherwise she wouldn't have asked in the first place.

Nevertheless, the Doctor realized now that he still wasn't sure what to make out of it. How much of the events on Satellite Five did Rose remember? Did she know what she had done and said, or what he had done and said? He still wasn't even certain himself what had happened there or how she had been able to connect to the heart of the Tardis like that, but he remembered the kiss well enough and that she had literally moved heaven and earth just to save him.

Only a few minutes ago, the Time Lord had believed he would die for sure and had in fact welcomed this fate. But when he had been granted another chance by Bad Wolf, he had embraced it wholeheartedly. For her. Rose had come back to him, and he couldn't remember now how he had been able to part from her.

Unfortunately, such gifts always had to be payed for. The overwhelming force she had absorbed had been killing her, just as it would kill him. The decision had been easy.

And so he had taken in all of her with a loving look and had kissed her.

Of course, the Doctor had used this intimate contact to extract the power of the Time-Vortex out of her, but this could have been done otherwise, too. One moment he had just wanted to save her life - and suddenly he had found himself acknowledging his feelings towards her. However _that_ had happened, this energy-exchange had made the whole experience even more intensive.

The last of the Time Lords had been equally surprised and happy when Rose had returned his kiss. _'Does she really trust me that much, or is she actually wanting this from me?', _he had been wondering since then.

But after all the dangerous powers had left her body, she had passed out. Thus, he couldn't be sure how much of this had been herself. The line between the human girl he held dear and the nearly almighty Bad Wolf, who was more than his equal, was blurred. When he had held her in his arms, it had seemed as if both beings had looked at him with a mixture of wonder and love, before the young woman had closed her eyes.

_'If Rose doesn't remember any of this, she probably just wants her old friend back now.' _Unfortunately, this was as impossible as to follow the path of the kiss.

More than a little frustrated and confused by all this, the Doctor couldn't help but sigh.

It didn't exactly help when Rose asked again if he could change back, and he regretfully had to negate that. Why didn't he suddenly like this new body that much anymore?

After a moment, he gathered enough courage to ask her back: "Do you want to leave?" He dreaded the answer.

OOO

Rose had blurted out: "Can you change back?", before she could stop herself.

She knew hardly anything about this whole regeneration-stuff, but _that_ was definitely rude. One doesn't ask a friend to change his face, even if he did just exactly that.

However, it was one thing to _believe_ that the Doctor had altered his whole appearance, but another to _accept_ it and be _happy_ about it.

Rose didn't know what to make of his reaction, because she had not yet learned how to read this new man. In one moment, this whole situation didn't bother him half as much as her. Then, suddenly, there was something like disappointment or even regret in his voice and eyes.

Hope awoke in her, when he asked her if she wanted him to change back. Of course, she did! Perhaps it was possible after all. Who knew what he was capable of, after all he was an alien, right?

But her high spirits were as fast silenced as they had been called to life. The Doctor's face became expressionless as he told her that he couldn't change back. Yet, she could see in his eyes that he felt sorry for her - and for himself.

Her heart immediately warmed up to him in that moment, and if he still had been her old Doctor she would have closed the distance between them and hugged him, or at last taken his hand. But Rose didn't dare to show her affection like that to this one, even if he looked so much more sad and lost and even somewhat more fragile than the other one ever had. He was a different man, and she hardly knew him. He might not even want her to touch him anymore.

Before she had the chance to come to terms with this whole crazy and confusing situation, he asked her if she wanted to leave. This idea had not occurred to Rose till now and rather took her by surprise. It hurt, too, but not so much as hearing the slight tremble in his voice.

When the girl tried to answer, she found herself speechless.

Her first reaction was to say "no". Rose then realized that she still was determined to stay with the Doctor, like she had promised.

However, she was tempted to say "yes", too, because she felt confused and betrayed. How could he not have told her that something like this could happen to him?

Finally, she settled on twisting his own former question, so that he had to answer instead. "Do you want me to leave?"

There had been a time when Rose wouldn't have asked this, and she wouldn't have complied if he had told her to go. In fact she had ignored his attempt to send her home just a few minutes ago, although it seemed now as distant as if it had happened in another life.

To her relief, he seemed eager enough to keep her now: "No, but ... your choice. If you want to go home ..." She just wasn't sure if he only said that to make her feel better.

_'What should I do? What does he want? This has become my home and my life ... but is it still_?' She couldn't do anything else but stare at the strange man, whose features grew more and more familiar and dear to her every second.

OOO

Did he want her to leave? No.

Did his two hearts hurt to see her reserved and uncertain like this? Yes.

Yet, she didn't seem to be in a hurry to leave him. That gave him some hope.

Obviously, impatience was now a quite strong characteristic of this Time Lord's new personality. And so he decided, without waiting for an answer from Rose, that he would take her back to Earth and her mother, although she had not asked for it.

The Doctor knew that she sometimes needed the plain, domestic steadiness of her old home and family for a day or two, to process all the wonders and terrors they experienced during their journeys. And he himself could do with a little break, until he had completely settled into his tenth life.

To be continued ...


End file.
